Thursday, February 21, 2013

RECESS for Kool-aid Rehabers!

Recess time! For those how have carefully paid attention to the 3 previous posts on Kool-aid Rehab you have earned this side-bar-of-a-thought for today....  :)  Maybe we can all join together for this new way of thinking!  For those who are new to this blog you are also entitled to join in!   Help yourself!

I am constantly amazed when reading job postings on Linked in for positions that have criteria that isn't too far from looking for left-handed people born on a Wednesday under a full-moon... just crazy.  

Looking at job-posting jabber is stunning to me; this noted criteria is for a Director level or VP;  (first, to protect your keyboard... keep liquids away from your mouth)  

"Develop and manage product messaging framework to enable organized marketing of product capabilities and differentiation" 

WHAT?! is that a new variety of English?

"Synthesize complex or diverse information; collect and research data; use intuition and experience to complement data."  AGAIN... What?!

and my favorite;

"Approach others in a tactful manner; accept responsibility for your own actions; follow through on commitments."   Seriously!  can we all say 'DUH' !  

....and for 'requirements'.... just found this one;
Minimum eight (8) years of relevant experience- (in the same listing) Must be 18 years or older.   HUH?  if you're over 50 it's hard to compete with that!

I've even seen a detailed 'laundry list' of things on a job posting ending with speaking German as a 'requirement' :)

So there you have it ... the 'needle in a haystack' search for-the -impossible - seriously??.... how could all these 'brilliant' attributes be stacked into one person?!
Don't employers and HR scholars, know they could just go to their local Starbucks and 'whistle up' amazing talent (?) !! - The wasted talent sipping coffee  are highly motivated, smart and willing to get the job done.  Employers could probably get  a two-for-the-price-of-one deal in there!

It's amazing to think of this but people who are skilled with real experience can actually follow directions and guess what?..... they have the ability to learn new things and even add to the task-at-hand with their own creativity!    no babysitting needed! WOW - what a concept! 

Matching employers with the right people shouldn't be such an  arduous process but then again, the people who are thoughtfully thinking of crap to write down are  just like everyone else with a precious real job.... they're frantically paddling for their own 'careers'.....

 Just think, (?) here's an idea.....  if loyalty and treating people like adults (instead of organ donors) returned to the workforce these crazy long searches wouldn't even be a topic to think about. Productivity would rise and everyone would be happy.   

'Generous 'Perks' like; (I didn't make these up either) would be abolished.

'FUN FRIDAY HOURS - get a head start on your weekend by leaving at 2:30 every Friday (year-round!)'     nothing like viewing your business like prison....   and for the happy inmates; 'FREE FRESH FRUIT provided daily (plus free coffee)' woo hoo!  and for the 'uniform' .... 'BUSINESS CASUAL DRESS CODE' (EVERYDAY!) -- wow!  keep your people look'in sloppy!  now that's motivating!

At the risk of sounding like an old person bumping the gums in thought --- it seems to me that a return to basics is needed; real adults need to have an opportunity to contribute to this mess .... a work force recalibration is in order (hire 20+ years experienced people only) .... decent pay for a fair-day's work, decent healthcare and respect for all.  That concept just may equal 'loyality' - a lost word in the vocabulary of younger generations.

Would love to hear from you!  Have a great (and productive) day!

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About Me- I'm everywhere!

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anywhere and everywhere, USA, Illinois, United States
I'm a sassy, very distracted older mom...with lots of wild stories (and rants) about my family and life...Daughter 20, college student, sassy, unpredictable, violin playing, animal enthusiast...Son, 17 video addict, Chess playing-star / trombone player...husband (old, tired, chronically stressed and impatient, but a good sport nonetheless) The underbelly of life for me; I’m a bright eyed ‘entrepreneur’ – just now completing Kool-aid Rehab a frightening 12 step process to figure out what I am doing with my life. On the home front, we have a gang of animals that keep the place lively too! 'Emma', dirty ungroomed Sheepdog, 'Lollipop' a smart Border Collie/Chow Chow also referred to as 'Daddy's Little Fatty', 2 cats; one eyed 'Winky' and emotionally disturbed- beyond crabby ....'Babycakes' (it's complicated,) 1 bird 'Tutu', and finally 'Templeton' (a.k.a. Little Shit)- a teeny dog who loves to 'run' .... more trouble than all put together and dumb as a stick. but we love him! :)